Do you or someone you care about have an oppositional child? Many children with ADHD are also diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. In the social work industry, we hear the term ODD when referring to teens, but very young children can exhibit extremely defiant behavior in spite of good, positive parenting.
Many parents dealing with these children are frustrated and feel that they are at their rope’s end. It is not uncommon for a frustrated parent to compound the problem by saying things out of pure frustration - and often meaning it! I often heard divorced mothers threaten to send the child to live with his father. Understandable, yes, but the message to the child is “I don’t love you”. The reaction of the child is often increased anger.
What parents in this situation need to know first and foremost is that they are NOT bad parents! They are human beings dealing with an unbearable situation. The next thing they need to know is their child is NOT a bad child! Children with ADHD are just not “wired” the same as other children. It is not their fault - and its not yours either.
For real help, at an unbelievable price, Click Here!
1 response so far ↓
1 Janet Matthews // Apr 17, 2008 at 8:51 am
Hi Karen, This is such an interesting subject. As you know I spent the vast part of my teaching career dealing with youngsters with behavioral problems.
I agree wholeheartedly with your comments that neither the child nor the parents are “bad”. However
i think that one of the major problems here is that parents confuse discipline with caring for their child. They think their child won’t love them if they are assertive. They think they have to give in to their children for an easy life. At the end of the day parenthood is one of the hardest jobs on the planet and every single one of us who are parents do the very best we can do at the time. BUT giving in to your child at an early age is not making for an easy life. It is just the thin end of the wedge. Assertiveness and consistency are the keys to success, neither of which are easy.
It is wonderful to see that parents can now get help in learning how to adopt the right strategies to help their children. I am sure it will be a growth industry in the future. A way to get our society back on track and realize that discipline at an early age guarantees a better disciplined child and adult in the future.
warm regards
Janet
Leave a Comment